Before you get married just check if you both need the fan/ac at the same level!
Picture SMS 98210
Golfer 1: Are you a scratch golfer?
Golfer 2: Yes I sure am, after each shot I scratch my head and wonder where my ball went!
Picture SMS 98188
Pro Tip to impress your wife:
Buy her dresses marked small and then act surprised when she says that it doesn't fit her!
Picture SMS 98174
This girl I met at the bar told me "Make me laugh and I'm yours".
So I showed her my bank balance. I don't know why she walked away!
Picture SMS 98173
No one has more to say than a woman who says she doesn't want to talk about it!
Picture SMS 98171
Doctor: How many mood swings have you been having?
Wife: Do you mean in an hour?
Picture SMS 98155
If I'm ever murdered, it will be because I said something absolutely perfect to someone with no sense of humour!
Picture SMS 98154
Airport check-in:
Airline staff: I'm sorry, the flight is full today. We couldn't allot you guys nearby seats. Your seat number is 2A and your wife's 42D.
Husband: Thank you very much, do I need to pay anything extra for this service?
Picture SMS 98153
People often ask me how I smuggle chocolate into the cinema?
Well... I have a few Twix up my sleeve!
Picture SMS 98152
My boss wanted us to start the presentation with some sort of a joke.
So I attached my pay slip in the first slide!
Picture SMS 98130