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Ambulances and women have a lot in common. They both make a lot of noise to let you know that they're coming!
Picture SMS 97852
After all these years my wife still thinks I'm sexy.
Every time I walk by she says, "What an Ass"!
What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
Picture SMS 86457
Last night, I told my husband, we should try some role reversal in bed.
And the bastard said he had a headache!
Picture SMS 86212
Husband is praying before going to bed.
Wife: What are you praying for?
Husband: For guidance.
Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!
Picture SMS 85333
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Picture SMS 85161
Wife: Apne Mere Boobs Choos-Choos Kar Bade Kar Diye Hain.
Husband: Agar Aisa Hota Toh Mera Lund Mere Ghutne Tak Pahunch Geya Hota Aur Mujhe Condom Ki Jagah Cycle Ki Tube Lagani Padti!
Picture SMS 83942
A couple during sex:
Husband: I'm about to come, honey.
Wife: Yes... come on, baby.
Husband: I'm coming, baby... I'm coming...
Wife: Yes... yes... baby. Come come.
Husband: I'm coming, Oh yes, I'm coming.
Wife: Abe... Tu Aadmi Hai Ya Acche Din!
Picture SMS 83776
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, "You're only interested in one thing," and you can't remember what it is!
Husband asks is angry wife for sex.
Wife: Fuck off, I don't want to see your face.
Husband: Neither do I, let's do it doggy style!
Picture SMS 79253