So I went to stay in the US and started getting used to the American way of life...

After a few months of staying there, I thought I should have a personal handgun as well.

Yesterday I got my permit to carry a concealed weapon. So, today I went over to the local Gun shop to get a 9mm handgun for home/personal protection. 

When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." 

I made her repeat what she had just said, because I thought I hadn't heard it right the first time. She duly repeated the line.

Making a mental note to complain to the government about gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader.

As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on.

I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.

. And I just need to wear underwear more often.
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.

"Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."

Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.

The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"

In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin.... and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.
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