Two judges were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in court on the appointed day, no one was there, so instead of wasting time waiting around they decided to try each other.

One took the stand and the other said, "How do you plead?"

"Guilty."

"That'll be fifty dollars and a warning from the court."

The two judges shook hands and changed places.

"How do you plead?" asked the judge.

"Guilty."

The judge reflected for a moment, and said, "These reckless driving cases are becoming all too common of late. In fact, this is the second such incident in the last fifteen minutes. That will be two hundred dollars and ten days in jail."
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.

A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.

The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"

The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."

The general said, "Drive on!"

The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."

The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"

The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"
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