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A flashy showgirl married a 97 year-old retired well-to-do General, largely because she held the belief that the old codger wouldn't even survive the wedding night.

While her new husband was in the bathroom, the woman slipped into a black see-through nightie and struck her most seductive pose upon the bed.

When the old man finally emerged, she was startled to see that he was stark naked except for earplugs, a clothes pin on his nose and a condom.

"Why are you wearing those?" she asked in amazement.

"Because if there's anything I just can't stand, "he grumbled, "it's the sound of a woman screaming and the smell of burning rubber."
A furrier from the United States went to Helsinki, Finland to purchase furs.

The first night in Helsinki he met a gorgeous blonde named Sanna, and before long the two were alone in his hotel room.

The encounter turned physical and soon their lovemaking session was complete.

After they were finished, then the man attempted to chat with Sanna - but it wasn't going well.

He said, "I'm afraid my Finnish isn't too good."

Sanna replied, "Your foreplay ain't all that hot either!"