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Farmer Jones lives with his tame bear in the remote country with only dirt access roads. His tame bear had been naughty that day so he put him in the barn and said, "You stay here until you learn how to behave yourself."

Shortly afterwards it begin to rain (a real heavy down pour). About an hour later a traveling salesman got stuck in the mud and asked the Farmer for a place to stay. The Farmer told him he didn't have room in the house, however he could stay in the barn. He told the salesman there were no lights in the barn and his tame bear was in the barn. The Farmer said the bear would not bother him. The salesman went to the barn.

Later another traveling salesman got stuck in the mud and the Farmer told him about the barn - no lights and the tame bear. Salesmen left for barn.

One hour later a woman got stuck in the mud and approached the Farmer. He told her about the barn and mentioned the two traveling salesmen (he was so concerned about the salesmen he forgot to mention the bear).

The woman told the farmer that she could take care of herself and left for the barn.

Two hours later, heavy knocking at the door awakened the Farmer. When opening the door the woman was standing there with her clothes torn and rumpled.

The Farmer said, "Good heavens, what happened to you?"

The woman replied, "I give up on human nature... the first guy gave me forty dollars, the second guy gave me fifty dollars, but that cheap jerk in the fur coat never even said thanks!"
Little Johnny had a first date lined up with a woman he had been after for quite a while. When she finally consented to go out with him, he wanted to plan the most romantic evening he could.

He picked her up at her apartment, and then drove out to the beach.

Little Johnny had prepared very carefully for this date and brought out a blanket for them to sit upon the sand and a bottle of the finest wine.

The moonlight was shining down on them and Little Johnny poured his date some wine. He handed her the glass, looked lovingly in to her eyes and said, "Now this is what I call romantic. The waves crashing on the shore, the moonlight in your eyes, a warm tropical breeze, a bottle of wine.....,"

He takes a sip of wine and says, "Oh and by the you Spit or swallow?