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There's an airplane and it's about to crash so the pilot tells the stewardess to go prepare the passengers for a crash landing.

She walks down the isle and there's a guy smoking cigarette after cigarette. She says, "Sir, you have to stop that. We're preparing for a crash landing."

He tells her, "Nope, I know what happens in these things, and I'm going down with my last cigarette."

She walks further down the aisle and there's a guy drinking those little bottles of liquor one after another.

She says, "Sir, you have to stop that. We're preparing for a crash landing."

He says, "Nope, I know what happens in these things, and I'm gonna have my last drink."

She walks further down the aisle and there's a guy fucking the hell out ofthis black chick. She says "Sir, you have to stop that. We're preparing for a crash landing."

He says "Nope, I know what happens in these things...and I know the only thing that ever survives is the little black box...and I'm gonna ride her all the way down !"
A college coed finished her degree at a college in a small farming town in Oregon. Her fiance had another semester to go to finish his degree and then they planned to marry in the spring. So the young woman decided to get a job until her fiance finished school, but the only job she could find in the town was on a farm doing manual labor.

Her duties consisted of grooming the fields and ridding the crops of adjacent weeds, in other words using a hoe. Then came the end of the semester, and her fiance graduated, so they decided to get on with the nuptials. They went to the courthouse and requested a marriage license.

The county clerk asked the usual questions like name, place of birth, occupation. The groom to be answered everything and, of course, gave his occupation as student as that was his most recent occupation.

The bride to be answered everything until the clerk asked her occupation. She thought about it a moment and then answered, "I'm a hoer."

The clerk looked at her to be husband and then her with a dumbfounded look on his face and then she spoke up, "Well, it's honest work."
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