The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out.

The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other librarian we had could write."
A guy was packing for a business trip and his five year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed helping her Daddy pack for his big trip.

At one point she giggled and said, "Daddy, Daddy...Look at this," and stuck out two of her little fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained and enjoying her playful mood, he reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in his mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers, nom nom nom" pretending to eat them and then went back to packing for his trip.

He couldn't help but notice how quiet she had become and looked up to see his is daughter standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated and bewildered look on her face.

He looked at her and said, "What's wrong, honey? Daddy was just playing. I would never really eat your fingers!" and let out a little giggle.

She replied, "I know you were just playing Daddy but what happened to my boogie?"
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