A man visits a doctor for routine check-up.

During check-up he asks the doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"

Doctor replies, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."

The man, little annoyed, says, "I don't come in here for any of that astrology nonsense."

The doctor replied, "Neither do I. My rectal thermometer just broke."
"Mr. Chilton," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit."

"Does that mean I'm cured?" he asked.

"For all practical purposes, yes," she said. "I think we can safely say that your kleptomania is now under control. You haven't stolen anything in two years, and you seem to know where the kleptomania came from."

"Well, that's terrific, Doctor. Before I go, I'd like to tell you something. Although our relationship is strictly professional, it's been one of the most rewarding of my life. I wish I could do something to repay you for helping me."

"You've paid my fee," the doctor said. "That's the only responsibility you have."

"I know," Chilton said. "But isn't there some personal favour I could do for you?"

"Well," the doctor said, "I'll tell you what. If you ever suffer a relapse, my son could use a new iPhone X."
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