Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them, "It is illegal to put five people in a Quattro. Quattro means four."

"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishman retorted disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons."

"You cannot pull that one on me," replies Paddy. "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."

"You idiot!" the Englishman replies angrily. "Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno."
Three blonde fishermen are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.

A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any," replied the first fisherman.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second fisherman, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line.

"Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want."

And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three fishermen started laughing hysterically.

"What a dumb Fish Cop," the fisherman, said to the other two.

"Doesn't he know that there are Steelhead trout in this river?!"
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