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At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.

She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon."

The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as "our" not "your."

Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.

She again went to the priest and told him, "Father, I've noticed that your... I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed."

The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing.

She assured him she would look for it. Another few days passed, and the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The whole parish was in a uproar of cleaning, etc.

On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, "Father, Father, I found your watch!!"

The bishop said, "How wonderful my child."

After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, "Why yes, Father, I found it under OUR bed."
After checking into the hotel, Father Willy O'Dilly finds a Bible on the bed-side table. He reads it for a couple of hours and then leaves his room and wanders into the lobby. There he strikes up a conversation with the pretty young receptionist.

After she has finished work, they share a few drinks in the bar and then retire to Father O'Dilly's room, but when the priest starts removing her clothes, she begins to have second thoughts.

"Are you sure this is alright?" she asks. "I mean, you are a priest."

"Don't worry, my dear," he replies, "it is written in the Bible."

She believes him and the two of them spend a very pleasant night together. But in the morning, as the girl is preparing to leave, she says, "You know, Father, I don't remember that part in the Bible you mentioned last night. Could you show it to me?"

So the priest takes the Bible from the bed-side table, opens the cover and points to the bottom of the title page, where someone has written in pencil, 'The girl in reception screws!'