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Two deeply religious Irish retirees were sitting on a patio playing checkers and sipping fine Irish whiskey. They enjoyed the mid-day sun almost as much as much as watching the local citizens walk by.

A few minutes go by and a middle-aged women pushes a baby stroller past the patio.

The first Irishman looks to the other and says, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"Aye," says the other as he takes a pull from his whiskey.

"Shamus, I surely am. A fine day for a stroll with a wee one."

"Aye," agrees the first Irishman and they go about their game of checkers.

A few minutes later, a young couple stroll down the avenue hand in hand, gazing deeply into each others eyes.

The first Irishman looks to the other and says, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"Aye," says the other as he takes another pull from his whiskey.

"Shamus, I surely am. A fine day for a stroll with a lover."

"Aye," agrees the first Irishman and they do about their game of checkers.

A few more minutes later, a young lass wearing clothes scarcely covering her shapely curves stops in front of the patio, bends over in front of the Irishmen giving them full exposure to her lovely rear, and smells the flowers in a near flower bed and walks on.

The first Irishman looks to the other and says, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"I'm not rightly sure this time, Shamus," says the other as he takes yet another pull from his whiskey.

"But if I am, I'll surely be joinin' you in confession this afternoon."
At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray.

She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon."

The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as "our" not "your."

Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed.

She again went to the priest and told him, "Father, I've noticed that your... I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed."

The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing.

She assured him she would look for it. Another few days passed, and the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The whole parish was in a uproar of cleaning, etc.

On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, "Father, Father, I found your watch!!"

The bishop said, "How wonderful my child."

After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, "Why yes, Father, I found it under OUR bed."
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