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1) Some women's legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading.

2) If you are ugly; you are ugly - stop talking about inner beauty because we don't walk around with X-rays.

3) Dear sister, don't be deceived by a man who text you I miss you only when it's raining. You are not an umbrella.

4) Check your girlfriend's body, if she has more tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.

5) Dating a slim or slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face.

6) It's better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole that she didn't even drill it herself.
7) Some of you girls can't even jog for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours??? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade.
8) If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected Penis in public.

9) No sex before marriage? If that was God's plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day.

10) Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend.

11) Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth. But as to how and where girls learnt the act of sucking dicks still baffles me...

12) Swimming pool is much more useful than the Liverpool football club.
Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie.

"Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed.

"No," said the genie, "You have been very bad recently, and because of this, I can only give you one wish."

"Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want. But, I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish I would like my love handles removed."


And just like that... her ears were gone.