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Rose had come to see Dr. Hardy. When the psychiatrist began using sexual terms, she interrupted, "Wait, what is a phallic symbol?"

"A phallic symbol," explained Hardy, "represents the phallus."

"What's a phallus?" asked Rose.

"Well," said the analyst, "The best way to explain it is to show you."

He stood up, unzipped his fly and took out his pecker.

"This is a phallus."

"Oh, I get it," said Rose. "It's the word for a very small penis.
A man was suffering from a stomach ache, so he told his wife who suggested he try the tablets the doctor had given her for a similar pain.

After taking his wife's tablets for a week, the pain disappeared but he developed two rather tender lumps, one behind each ear.

He went to his doctor, showed him the lumps, and explained what had happened.

Whereby the Doctor called him all the fools under the sun, saying, "You bloody idiot! I was treating your wife for a fallen womb, God knows how I'm going to get your balls back down."