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A lady marched into the doctors office with a tiny miserable baby that was howling at the top of its lungs and demanded, "Do something about this baby."

After a quick examination, the doctor realized the baby was malnourished.

"He's obviously not getting enough milk," he said sternly, "is he being breast fed?"

"Yes," replied the lady.

"Then the milk supply isn't adequate. Please take your blouse off."

The woman obliged, and the doctor proceeded to give her a very thorough breast exam, kneading, rubbing, massaging, and sucking each breast at some length.

Finally, perplexed, he announced that he could see why there was a problem. "You aren't producing any milk at all."

"Of course not," she responded. "It's my sister's kid."

"Why on earth did you come?" asked the doctor in amazement.

"I didn't," she replied, "until you started sucking on the other tit."
Two very nervous men got to talking in the doctor's waiting room.

They discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring around the base of his penis and the other one had a green ring.

The fellow with the red ring was examined first. In a few minutes he came out, all smiles, and said, "Don't worry, man, it's nothing."

Vastly relived, the second man went into the examining room, only to be told a few minutes later by the doctor, "I'm sorry, but you have an advanced case of VD. I'm afraid you'll have to be castrated."

Turning white, the young man gasped, "But the first guy... he said it was no big deal!"

"Well, you know," said the doctor, "there's a big difference between gangrene and lipstick."
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