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A man walks into the Election office in Leeds and says to the Receptionist, "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an independent candidate."

Receptionist, "Certainly sir, no problem. Please fill in this Form."

He was filling the Form until he came to the question, "Are you circumcised?"

So he asked the Receptionist, "Is that question necessary?"

Receptionist, "If you are circumcised you are not eligible."

He asked what difference it would make if he was circumcised?

Receptionist, "To become a genuine politician, you have to be a complete prick."
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.
Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54.
A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.