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A man walks into a bar and sees a hot gorgeous woman.

He walks up behind her and says, "Hi there, good lookin'. How's it goin' ?"

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean... It just doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just love it."

Eyes wide with interest, he responds, "Really ? I'm a lawyer too. What firm are you with ?"
A lawyer went to a remote village and stayed at the local inn for a few days. While he was there, he had an affair with the innkeeper's young daughter.

A few months later he was back at the inn again, and the young girls was pregnant! When he confronted her, she admitted that the child was his.

"But why didn't you let me know?" said the lawyer, "I would have married you!"

"Well," replied the inkeeper's daughter, "Daddy said that one bastard in the family is quite enough!"