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Secretary complaining with friend about her Boss:

He is so crazy about SEX! He tells me to do 'LAPTOP' and then 'DESKTOP' Position followed by 'SPREADSHEET FORMAT'

He tells me to 'Convert' his 'SOFT DISC' into 'HARD DISC' & he installs 'ANTI-VIRUS' to 'ENTER' and 'SCROLLS' it in my 'C-DRIVE' till it 'EJECTS'.

Once I tried to 'ESC' but he caught and 'SHIFTED' me to his 'HOME' where he started pressing my 'BACKSPACE' saying-let us 'RESTART' again...!

If I refuse he threatens to keep me on 'STAND-BY' Position. Many times he works without 'CAPS-LOCK' and crashes my 'SYSTEM' until he 'LOGS-IN' and Looses his 'Ctrl'.The process continues till I 'ZIP' him and 'SHUTDOWN' his 'MAIN SYSTEM'.

But he doesn't know that the final 'PRINT-OUT' of all this 'DATA' will be handed over to him by me within a few months.....
Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.

Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.

One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament. I looked up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the meaning of her password.

She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal her secret.

I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did. After negotiating for several minutes she finally acquiesced but made me promise to never reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.

"Well, what does it mean?" I asked.

She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."

There was pregnant pause. I unlocked her system and simply said, "Have a nice day".