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This is from the days when we still had 3 1/2" floppy drives:

One day while returning to my desk after a routine call, a young lady flagged me down and asked for help, "My floppy drive won't work, can you help me?"

I told her I'd take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear plastic baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive.

While I spent the next 20 minutes getting her disk out and digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys in the corner trying awful hard to keep a straight face. I asked her how the plastic got in the drive.

"Oh, you mean the condom? Yes, John & Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk before inserting it to prevent it from catching viruses."

By this point, John & Dave were roaring and it was all I could do to keep from joining them. The "condom" turned out to be a standard 3.5" plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke had been played and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked, "Does that mean that I don't have to stroke it ten times or blow on it either?"
"Hello, help desk."

"Yes, this is Mrs. Duffy on the sixth floor. I want to report a violation of company policy."

"What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Duffy?"

"I have found some of the computers in the office here are being used to look at orgies."

"We have filtering software on the network that prevents sites like that from being displayed."

"Well, I just sat down at one of the computers and clicked on the bookmarks."

"And there's a list of pornographic sites?"

"I should say so. Quite a few."

"They should be blocked by the filter. Did you click on them?"

"I didn't have to. They say dot O-R-G and I've been around long enough to know what that means."