A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent.

The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them.

Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door.

The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!!!"

"Of course I heard you", the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!!"
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total chaos in his house...

...all three children were outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers thrown all about the front yard. The door to the wife's car was thrown open and also the house front door. Once inside it got worse and he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over and the carpet was in a heap against one wall. Television blaring and tuned to the cartoon channel, family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. Dishes in the kitchen were poled high in the sink, breakfast food was splattered on the table, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass was under the table and a small pile of dirt lay piled up by the back door.

He ran up the stairs, stepping over toys and other piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried that she might be ill, or worse!!!

He found her lounging in the bedroom, still in her pyjamas and quietly reading a novel.

She smiled, looked up at him and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What the hell happened here today"?

She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," he replied reluctantly.

She answered, "Well; today I didn't do it!!!!!"
Analytics